The core of our society, the middle class is not so mediocre anymore. The new breed of confident and qualified young people is here. The contemporary generation has also successfully acquired the neo-metro roles, which this fast paced life demands of them. So the traditional boundaries of bread-earner and homemaker have diminished long ago. While the super achiever, Sauvé, sensitive, dapper man in the metro has arrived, the era undisputedly, belongs to the modern liberated independent girls and young women in India. We have female star performers everywhere, be it Mary Kom, Chanda Kochar or Chavi Rajawat, Indian women are packing a punch in the field they choose.
Matrimony or acrimony ;P
The twist in the tale comes when matrimony descends upon this career woman and neo-modern man. When the responsibility arrives, both male and the female ‘do not have time’ to shoulder them or to meet the needs of the family they created. She is as busy as he is; but some of the modern women have a longer list of expectations from themselves. She is expected to be and wants to be at the top in her career, an efficient mom, a superb cook and housekeeper all rolled in to one. And who expects this? The answer is, WE WOMEN more than anybody else. Till about a decade back Multitasking was the in thing. Nothing wrong here, just that sometimes we become too harsh on ourselves.
In India, the expectations from a woman on the domestic front have not changed much. In this digital era, women are expected to be customized ‘care-bots’, that is they should be able to; cook up sumptuous meals, be perfect hostesses to all friends and relatives, take care of the kids homework, attend to the elders; all this apart from bringing in a good salary as well.
Adapt & be receptive too
Frankly domesticity or home-making is a synonym of multitasking, my point is we women are overdoing both and risking our own well being and that of our dear ones too. Times are changing; women have it better today than their mothers and grandmothers did. Husbands and boyfriends chip in with household chores etc, ironically it is the female relatives of the man who cannot stand this often!!! (mera beta/ bhai saraa kam karega aur kya yeh sirf office jayegi!).A modern set of an optimistic & helping senior generation has emerged as well, but they make up a small percentage metros and developing towns.
'Just' a housewife!!!
There exists another scary face of this modernism, which is this condescending manner of viewing home makers. Women who do not ‘work’ as in work in an office and bring a fat pay packet are worthless in the eyes of many prospective grooms and their families! All I want to say to the modern Indian women is that lets not disrespect full time mothers and homemakers( it involves much more than just vaccum cleaning, cooking and bachon ka homework kara diya). This definitely does not mean working women should feel guilty of not being at home.
The better equipped- Women ofcourse
Enjoy being feminine girls! And don’t shy away from it in a bid to be modern. You are the emotional sound board of the society, do not let any other male or female exploit or abuse this trait of yours instead enjoy it!
Women are luckier(than men) to have the mechanism to deal with emotional upheavals and stress incorporated into their bodies and minds by Mother Nature!! And the fact that women have been successful in all careers ranging from sky-diving to being auto-rickshaw drivers proves that nothing can stop us!
Vanity-Oh Yeah!;P
This brings me to yet another exceptionally resilient strain of female species, the ‘armed forces wives’. Women have always shouldered myriad responsibilities at domesticity and work, but what makes the armed forces wives’ achievements remarkable is that they manage to do this in the most godforsaken places, rid of modern facilities, at times.
People serving in the defence; like many other people, lead very stressful lives but also face a life-risk as a part of their routine work. This is where the patience of the spouse is tested.
How many women relocate lock-stock& barrel as often as every two years or lesser? That too, in accommodation not equipped with state of the art amenities.
How many women make do with long power cuts, yet manage cooking and running their households from a two room set to a palatial bungalow with the same e’lan? And to top it all contribute to women’s organisations on a regular basis? Too many goals to achieve are they? We also see happy and successful families with both husband and wife in the services. Salute to them for managing all fronts so well.
To be a defence wife needs patience and adaptability. It is no easy task. There exists a large percentage of defence wives who have been able to pursue successful careers yet be the ever supporting spouse.
Celebrate womanhood! Which is the mantra the defence forces of our country have been following, check out the valedictory certificate a test pilot’s wife receives. Every word of it rings true for and puts forth the characteristics of the defence wife. While a wife is traditionally known as ‘ardhangini’ and married women all over India contribute to their families whole heartedly, it is the lucky ones, the defence wives whose contribution is acknowledged and celebrated.
