Television entertainment and us

Summer Holidays begin and  so the  kids accompany  me to most places these days, vegetable  shopping(much  to their  dislike), laundry grocers...So here we were at Big Bazar, shopping for daily  necessities when announcement of a  fashion show organized for children caught  my kids' fancy.I entered their names not thinking  much  about it. Like  all parents  I  thought  this  was a   good opportunity  for them to be on stage.
As we approached the area, I  was  quite impressed to  see a proper stage  with a  ramp and  all, children  were  already  rehearsing their talent  to  be  exhibited later; the  judge was  yet to arrive. Wow  I  thought,  the fist and  last time  I  was on a ramp was  as the  finalist in a beauty  contest when I was 19.....how  nervous  I  felt then, I recollected  as  I traveled to the  past, my nervousness, other  parents  coaching  and  goading  their  girls  on,  but my dad and me wondering  what was there  to prepare, one  should  spontaneously  voice  an  opinion, unless it is a  fact presenting assignment....
But now when  I looked  at my kids they were  at ease, not  ruffled  a bit  by  all the other  super talented kids belting out  hit  hollywood  numbers and  dancing to those tunes  in gusto, like  professionals!!

The  anchor  was encouraging the kids to perform.The judge  arrived  and  the  show  commenced, I  was quite  disheartened at the  attitude of the  organizing  team.All they  wanted the participants to do was  enact a  Hindi  film  actor , or  dance like  a  particular  heroine or recite  a  popular dialogue  from  a  film!! Not that these acts do not need practice and  intelligence, but  these were the  only topics on the anchors mind!!!
 I  agree it  being  a  fashion show  titled ' Cool  summer fashion' would  not  bring science  prodigies  to the  fore, that wasn't the  aim in any  case, but  how  completely given it to  bollywood  are we? Yes,  it  was a fashion show  and  a  bit  of  entertainment  was looked  forward  to, but  tiny  tots  gyrating in a  bollywood like  fashion to the  entire  length  of  a bollywood  song was the only criterion of  a  talent hunt.
 The judge  made a  bold  attempt, she  decided to speak  with the  kids, rather than the  default  song 'n dance  routine decided  by the organizers. Good  I thought to myself, a  novel attempt  indeed,  the judge  was  asking them  about  their hobbies, likes  dislikes ....but my relief was  shortlived. Every child's  hobby was  dance, bollywood  dance or a hindi film  song that they  could sing  perfectly!! Whatever  happened to good  old  , "I like  playing in the  park"?!!! or even "playing pithoo or  langri tang  with  my  friends"
 Come to think of  it  majority of the  Indian  television channels  telecast  film  based  pogrammes or family dramas. I am not  against them but  for how  long  can we  feed ourselves the  same masala under the garb  of entertainment. Gone  are the  spelling bee contests and  bournvita  quizes and the Sidhdhart basus and Derek O'briens or  'Surabhi'.  The frequency of such  pregames has become  miniscule liteally.One has to hunt  for  such  informative and  interesting  content  on TV , the  run-of-the-mill is  just totally  film based!!
Going back to the fashion show,  I was  glad that a Boy blessed  with  a  mellifluous  voice(he  sang a  bhajan) was adjudged the  winner in the  8  to 11 years category. His  demeanor was confident and blessed with a pleasant personality, he  was naturally  the  audiences'  favorite.
 When it  was mychildren's turn to  introduce themselves  and  be  questioned, they replied  from their  heart. My  11 year old elder one, told  the judge she  liked  swimming, painting and  cooking!!!My 8 year old son  made  similar statements, also declaring his love  for  cricket and  IPL. Niether  of my children liked the  idea of  giving  a  performance  as in a  bollywood  dance  item, which they too are quite  fond of otherwise.However, they are  involved in swimming painting,experimenting with  fevicol , paper, scews wires, mud,waste material and  making the  house  a mess as well. Very  surprisingly my son walked away with the  second  prize in the  5-8 year category!! My daughter  did  not  stand  a chance  competing  with all the  chikni-chameli and  dhinka-chika perfomers, not that I mind  that in the least.... We all really need to look deeper into the notion of entertainment we possess. A little bit of song and  dance  accompanying some  grey matter stimulating or informative  content is what we  should be involved in.

Citizens of the Global village

 The world is shrinking in more ways than one, better connectivity has brought  us all closer  undoubtedly. What  I  am  referring to here is the cross-cultural and  cross-regional alliances  that  are  becoming  commonplace in conservative  or  tradition following societies  like  India. This is not  an  attempt  at  analysis  nor any anthropological study, just  an opportunity  to  share  some  light  moments  from  weddings  I  have been  a  part of  or have attended.

The auspicious wedding season has set in yet again in India, we are all in for festive time. Weddings  invoke mushy  romantic feelings, fun-filled dances,  friendly  banter  and  lots of  ‘Khushi ke  aansoo’ thrown in  good  measure. Rich  and  lavish spreads to indulge  in, ladies swishing  in their best  and  most  expensive  silks  and  jewellery, song and dance and  of course the  most important part, clicking  family pictures and  making of  the   ‘wedding videos’.

 The Bride  and   Groom feature  on the guests  priority  list much  later, meeting  up  with  cousins  and  family  friends  that  grabs  attention first. Weddings  are the  times  when I  miss  both my  grandmothers  the  most.... In  good  old  days it  was  the  matriarchs  prerogative  to  find  suitable matches  for the  younger  generation of  their own family as  well  as for  the neighbour’s  and   cousins families  too. But with  lot of young people moving  out of  home  and  making  their  own decisions, cross-cultural  and  cross- regional marriages are the  trend  today. The conventional match making role has ceased to exist in urban environs....

In the Northern part of India, weddings are very lavish grandiose affairs.......   Maharashtrian  weddings  on  the  contrary used to be very simple  affairs devoid  of  any hullabaloo; they focus on the  ceremony  and  vows, or at least they used to. Thanks to the Bollywood culture seeping in to every aspect of our lifestyles.  people below  the  Sahyadri  are taking to the  whole  song  and  dance  sequence slowly  are finding it enjoyable too.

I  wonder  how my  grandmas  would  have  reacted to these  changes..... The  first thing  on their  minds being matching  the  horoscopes, bride  and  groom  had to be  from the  same  caste and  once  everything  was  finalised, the  ceremony would have to take  place in  complete sincerity and  piety. Then, the  mutual  exchange of gifts (there  is  no dowry system in Maharashtrian  Brahmins,  a coconut and  piece of  cloth  for  each  person present, as  simple  as  that, what  people  do  nowadays  are  just  add-ons).Going  back  to  grandmas idea  of  successful weddings, the heaviness and  sheen of  the  Bride’s  gold (this could become a potential factor to offset  a well  progressing  wedding. These negative aspects apart, presence and participation of elders in the wedding is revered even today).

 When  my grandma was  young, an  occasional love  marriage  did  happen but  cross  regional  one  was completely  looked down upon. She  was herself  very proud about being born  into this caste of  Brahmins, It was   funny to see her  reactions to other peoples  castes, even  other  Brahmins  weren’t  supposedly  good  enough. So  she  being  a  ‘karhada’ the  other  two , ‘konknastha’  and  ‘deshastha’  were well almost  non-existent! Being  a gregarious  person she  travelled  lot, sight-seeing and   enjoying  with  her  Ladies  gang, at  times like  those, caste  creed were thrown out of the window  for all practical  purposes. Social comity took  precedence over other matters....

 A happy  thought, that comes to the  mind  is the biggest boon of  these  cross-cultural  marriages  is  the  ‘Unity  in  diversity’ that  will follow  when  couples  and  families  will  work towards  making these marriages last .

In  a  cross  cultural alliance, the  groom’s  and bride’s  people try and bring forth the  best of  their  traditions  at   wedding  ceremonies. It is  a treat to watch and  understand  different customs because  the  underlying  essence is  the  same  in all cultures, to encourage the  wedded duo to support one another in happiness and  sorrow...

My  maharashtrian family for example, can boast of a sons-in-law from down south  Tamil Nadu, and the  other  from  far flung West Bengal, a Gujju-ben  daughter-in-law and the latest addition  is  another son-in-law who hails  from ‘the Jat land’ our  Indian  Texas. We have  even managed to  cut  across  global boundaries with another  son-in-law  from Canada, not far behind, the daughter-in-law of a  cousin  who  is  Chinese ...Hypothetically speaking I can imagine the  weddings  of their  children in Indian context!!! What fun  it  would  be to see a   cute Chinese girl in Lehenga  choli, complete  with  all  ornaments  and embellishments in her attire....  her  white and other very Indian looking cousins  dancing  away to Bhangra-beats......fun time indeed!! 

The ‘wedding-album’ adorns living room showcases in this digitised world of today. It is so much more convenient to carry stills of special moments on a usb or a phone.  But photographs  hold  a special place in my  heart, I mean the hard copies....Once in a  few months  I  do manage to  steal a glance of old pics in  albums I have. The entire joint family posing together is such a heart warming sight. Two  or  three generations down  the line, the  children  in our  family  might  be  looking  into family  photos to find smiling  faces  of  all races peering  back  at them.

Hail the new Global village!

May your tribe increase,

May it lead to love harmony and peace J

Is this the right guy for you?

Is He  the  right  guy  for  you..............

Hey girls, how many of you read through these ‘Checking out your boyfriend or husbands EQ (emotional quotient), be honest please. Most of us I assume, now to share with you  gals  what I experienced once when I undertook this exercise once.

I came across this quiz, ”Find out if your man the right guy for you”. I usually discard these spouse /partner assessment and statistics quizzes, I feel one cannot categorize individuals through a common set of eligibility criteria; not  for different  people with myriad personalities... (but I decided to take this one to kill time, I  was  travelling alone by  train). Besides, I also feel true love and life is much more than a few sweet mushy love words spoken. These ideas of teenage mills and boons romance do not measure up to the challenges partners face in setting up or working on a relationship. That said, every woman (including me) loves being told she is loved by her man, when he says so, it feels like a cosy caress to the heart.

Typically the quiz started with, how many times does he say “I love u”?  I  scored a Zero on this first oneL.

Does he come home late often, saying he’s in office but his cell is not reachable... yeah that happens a couple of times but I know my man too well, he is busy.

“What was the special anniversary gift he bought you? Was it of your choice.... La zilch again......

This isn’t what I wanted to do in the first place, but it did get me thinking and what I discovered was more than just love...

My guy (husband) doesn’t say “I love u” ever but he does much more than that, he detects my moods in a jiffy. The upside of this is I get bed tea and breakfast in bed on weekends...   The downside is I can’t hide a single emotion/ fact from him even if I want to sometimes.............

He stood by me, helped me through each stage of both my caesareans and post partum blues. While he’s never got me a diamond ring , he made a  slogan  for me that read “you bring back the sunshine in my life” welcoming me back home from hospital with our first born!! :)

 He taught me car driving with the utmost patience anybody can imagine. When he discovered my reluctance to be in water, he held my hand and gently led me to the deeper waters, remaining by my side as I swam. He was reassuringly close to me when we went snorkelling in the South China Sea.  

  Next question,” How often does he compliment your looks?” Uh-oh I wish I hadn’t got into this.....

When going out for an event, I   would ask the typical wife question,” how do I look?”  

Over the years I have stopped asking him this. There were two standard answers,

 A) without  even a   glance  he’d  say,”  if  there  was  anything  wrong I  would’ve  told  you” or

 B)”Horrible , how  can  u  be  wearing the  same colour  from head  to toe and  your  hair  is  a mess”.

 Having said so, the next thing I  hear is him introducing me at the function with,” the most beautiful woman here, my wife”. I would feel so embarrassed!

 He stands by my decisions  about our  children  and related  stuff,  especially in  front  of them(We  might  disagree  about  it in private ).

We opine differently on a range of issues, Of course we have our share of disagreements, we are a regular couple. There are arguments, cold wars and,” I’m not talking to you” times....

But  whenever I’m  down with  any of  these  I  try  and  remind  myself  of  the   good  times spent together, of the  unsolicited strong support I  got from my  hubby...

 It is good to fight, express anger, venting all out is healthy too.

 

But we must also count our blessings for what we have...

So, going back to those quizzes, one realizes, they do not take into account all these situations and emotions, so all you love-bug-bitten girls out there, don’t just go by what these quizzes ask you.As for me the quiz achieved what it was designed for.... to reiterate love... Think for yourself carefully rather than acting in haste.