The world is shrinking
in more ways than one, better connectivity has brought us all closer
undoubtedly. What I am
referring to here is the cross-cultural and cross-regional alliances that
are becoming commonplace in conservative or
tradition following societies
like India. This is not an
attempt at analysis
nor any anthropological study, just
an opportunity to share
some light moments
from weddings I have
been a
part of or have attended.
The auspicious wedding season has set in yet again in India,
we are all in for festive time. Weddings
invoke mushy romantic feelings,
fun-filled dances, friendly banter
and lots of ‘Khushi ke
aansoo’ thrown in good measure. Rich
and lavish spreads to
indulge in, ladies swishing in their best
and most expensive
silks and jewellery, song and dance and of course the
most important part, clicking
family pictures and making
of the
‘wedding videos’.
The Bride and
Groom feature on the guests priority
list much later, meeting up
with cousins and
family friends that
grabs attention first. Weddings are the
times when I miss
both my grandmothers the
most.... In good old
days it was the
matriarchs prerogative to find
suitable matches for the younger
generation of their own family
as well
as for the neighbour’s and
cousins families too. But with lot of young people moving out of
home and making
their own decisions, cross-cultural and
cross- regional marriages are the
trend today. The conventional
match making role has ceased to exist in urban environs....
In the Northern part of India, weddings are very lavish
grandiose affairs.......
Maharashtrian weddings on
the contrary used to be very
simple affairs devoid of any
hullabaloo; they focus on the
ceremony and vows, or at least they used to. Thanks to the
Bollywood culture seeping in to every aspect of our lifestyles. people below
the Sahyadri are taking to the whole
song and dance
sequence slowly are finding it
enjoyable too.
I wonder how my
grandmas would have
reacted to these changes.....
The first thing on their
minds being matching the horoscopes, bride and
groom had to be from the
same caste and once
everything was finalised, the ceremony would have to take place in
complete sincerity and piety.
Then, the mutual exchange of gifts (there is no
dowry system in Maharashtrian
Brahmins, a coconut and piece of
cloth for each
person present, as simple as
that, what people do
nowadays are just
add-ons).Going back to
grandmas idea of successful weddings, the heaviness and sheen of
the Bride’s gold (this could become a potential factor to
offset a well progressing
wedding. These negative aspects apart, presence and participation of elders
in the wedding is revered even today).
When my grandma was young, an
occasional love marriage did
happen but cross regional
one was completely looked down upon. She was herself
very proud about being born into
this caste of Brahmins, It was funny to see her reactions to other peoples castes, even
other Brahmins weren’t
supposedly good enough. So
she being a
‘karhada’ the other two , ‘konknastha’ and
‘deshastha’ were well almost non-existent! Being a gregarious
person she travelled lot, sight-seeing and enjoying
with her Ladies
gang, at times like those, caste
creed were thrown out of the window
for all practical purposes. Social comity
took precedence over other matters....
A happy thought, that comes to the mind
is the biggest boon of these cross-cultural marriages
is the ‘Unity
in diversity’ that will follow
when couples and
families will work towards
making these marriages last .
In a cross
cultural alliance, the
groom’s and bride’s people try and bring forth the
best of their traditions at
wedding ceremonies. It is a treat to watch and understand
different customs because
the underlying essence is
the same in all cultures, to encourage the wedded duo to support one another in
happiness and sorrow...
My maharashtrian
family for example, can boast of a sons-in-law from down south Tamil Nadu, and the other
from far flung West Bengal, a
Gujju-ben daughter-in-law and the latest
addition is another son-in-law who hails from ‘the Jat land’ our Indian
Texas. We have even managed
to cut
across global boundaries with
another son-in-law from Canada, not far behind, the
daughter-in-law of a cousin who is Chinese ...Hypothetically
speaking I can imagine the weddings of their
children in Indian context!!! What fun it would
be to see a cute Chinese girl in Lehenga choli, complete with
all ornaments and embellishments in her attire.... her
white and other very Indian looking cousins dancing
away to Bhangra-beats......fun time indeed!!
The ‘wedding-album’ adorns living room showcases in this digitised
world of today. It is so much more convenient to carry stills of special
moments on a usb or a phone. But
photographs hold a special place in my heart, I mean the hard copies....Once in
a few months I do
manage to steal a glance of old pics
in albums I have. The entire joint
family posing together is such a heart warming sight. Two or
three generations down the line, the children in our
family might be
looking into family photos to find smiling faces
of all races peering back
at them.
Hail the new Global village!
May your tribe increase,
May it lead to love harmony and peace J
mam u shd try ur hand in writing a book. after reading this i think i'll hv to again start reading as my hobby.(and continue as after my leave ;-))
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